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The way books work lately is-if I wanted to read a book, I have to wait for the audio version so I can hear what's being said. It's not quite as satisfying as reading a book, but it does have its advantages. For one thing, the narrator has already heard every good part of the story so there are no surprises or awkward moments where you're just waiting for them to get on with things. And second of all, there are lots of weird people that don't write books that are usually unheard by everybody except other weird people until they're made into audio versions. So in this book, the weird person is the whole book, the narrator. If you've read this book or any of my books before, you know that I hate when people read stuff out loud. "I'll just be reading here," they say, looking around for support. "How I don't know," says the reader. "It's just that it's better when someone reads it to me." My friend Lucinda Lynes usually does that to me when she reads one of my stories to me-just takes forever and sometimes she even requests her own dialogue. "Please may I say this next bit of dialogue?" I'm not giving her an inch. Is she kidding me? She's the reader, not the writer. "You may not." That said, if I ever wrote a book, which I doubt will ever happen, if it did happen...I'd probably do that myself. Take forever with it and all that. Maybe I am crazy after all! Huh! Anyhow, this book which is actually called "What Happened to Louise Ogborn" is written by Earl Colby who was the guy that kidnapped Louise Ogborn in 1989. They used to call him the "Martinez Tractor Maniac" because he liked to force women to have sex with him by threatening them with a "tractor" that was actually just a phony-balonely thing he made up, probably just for kicks. Many of his girlfriends were forced into prostitution where they were forced to strip for all kinds of people. He'd beat them if they didn't do what he said, which of course is one of the great things about audio versions-you don't ever have to read about physical violence against women again. So Earl Colby kidnaps Louise Ogborn and takes her out on his boat or something like that and she is too afraid to do anything but obey. She's just a kid. She's only 16 and Earl's a grown man, so she doesn't feel as if there's much to do but cooperate. Trust me. I know how it feels. Every time I'm at the car wash or something, it comes back to me all at once-I knew I forgot something...something...what was it? Just this feeling of having forgotten something...It used to drive me crazy! Then I thought to myself, "Hey! Maybe it isn't a thing you forgot-maybe you forgot yourself." So I took the opportunity to sit down and figure out exactly who Louise Ogborn was. cfa1e77820